Many of us learned to search everywhere for God except within ourselves.
We were taught which buildings were sacred, which voices carried authority, which beliefs were acceptable, and which questions were dangerous. We learned how to profess faith, defend doctrine, and seek approval from those authorized to interpret the Divine for us.
But how many of us were taught to become still?
How many were encouraged to listen deeply to the movement of Spirit within our own breath, bodies, consciences, longings, and questions?
From Chapter 7of Allegory of the Cross, “The Way Back Is Inward”:
Many of us were taught to imagine holiness as something distant.
Somewhere beyond the self. Contained in institutions, doctrines, sacred buildings, or mediated through approved voices and sanctioned interpretations.
We were taught to kneel before altars, yet rarely encouraged to listen for the altar within. To study scripture, but not silence. To master belief while remaining estranged from breath, embodiment, intuition, and inward stillness.
And yet the path at the heart of the teachings of Jesus was never solely outward.
It was inward first, not inward as isolation or self-absorption, but inward as encounter, awakening, and the difficult, honest return to what fear, performance, and conditioning had taught us to abandon within ourselves.
The journey begins in stillness, in longing, and in the quiet questions that refuse to disappear.
Luke 17:21 has been translated both as “the kingdom of God is within you” and “the kingdom of God is among you.” Perhaps the tension between those translations contains its own wisdom: the Divine is encountered within us, but never belongs to us alone. What awakens inwardly must become visible in how we live among one another.
Turning inward does not mean that every impulse is sacred or that we no longer need wisdom, scripture, teachers, or community. It means our spiritual lives cannot be entirely outsourced. No institution can undergo our transformation for us. No doctrine can substitute for encounter. No borrowed certainty can teach us to recognize the voice of love within the noise of fear.
Jesus continually redirected attention toward the human heart. He withdrew into solitude. He asked questions. He crossed boundaries. He touched bodies declared unclean and restored people whom religious certainty had pushed aside.
Perhaps the way back is not found through greater performance, stricter conformity, or louder declarations of belief.
Perhaps it begins when we become quiet enough to hear what fear once taught us to silence.
What part of your own inner knowing were you taught to distrust in order to be considered faithful? What might change if you listened again?
Adapted from Chapter 7, “The Way Back Is Inward,” in The Allegory of the Cross: Sophia Rising from the Cave—Author’s Revision, by Dr. Lauree Brown.
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